People love to say God works in mysterious ways. This morning was one of those days for me. I started the day a little too much in my own head. I was feeling isolated and alone. Days like this tend to spiral into thoughts of not knowing who I am anymore, feeling a shell of who I used to be, wondering when the last time I actually felt joy was – all of which are just partial truths I tend to focus on when I wake up in that kind of mood.
As I realized I was slipping down that spiral slide into a melancholy self reflection pattern, I pulled out my laptop and started working on a new fiction piece – something I haven’t done in a long time. I started writing a thinly veiled therapeutic piece for myself about three women and their path to discovery. The characters are different aspects of myself. The first feeling lost and shell of herself is the dramatized version of myself when I find myself inside my own head. The second, the exaggerated version woman who I used to be. The third being the version of myself I wish I were on a regular basis.
I have no clue if I will continue writing the piece or if I will abandon it after it serve its purpose, but that’s not the point of why I am telling you about my morning.
I was imagining the third character and what she would do in the morning – a dedicated devotional time, sitting down and spending time in God’s word. – Which I admit, my own devotional time has been lacking. I have fallen into a routine where the only time I am personally spending time with my bible is when I’m teaching my children or while preparing for and teaching the GEMS girls club at my church.
As I was thinking about this character as the person I wanted to be, I stopped writing and grabbed my copy of Nearer to God Daily Devotional that my church give out. The October theme is Knowing God written by Katelyn Van Haren. She based the devotional on J.I. Packer’s book Knowing God. Since today is the first day of October, there was no better time to start the devotional.
At any rate, the daily entry was titled Why do I need to know God? With the scripture reading Hosea 6:1-6. I’ll admit my Old Testament knowledge relies on heavily on the classic bible stories you teach children and other highlights. I have not done a lot of personal reading in the books of the Prophets – my main knowledge of those books more than likely hinges on past sermons and devotional texts.
What struck me with today’s devotional was the metaphor Van Haren wove about removing someone who lived their entire life in a forest and dropping them into a bustling city. That person would likely feel lost, confused and alone. – Which was exactly how I was feeling this morning. She goes on to explain that a person who does not know God, is the exact same – lost and confused. While I feel I know God, I could and should get to know Him better.
She makes mention of the Shorter Catechism asking “What is the chief end of man?” Basically what is the purpose of man – which is “to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever”. I realized as reading this I had begun to drift into familiar territory. Where I like to do things my way and on my own. Afterall, a childhood lesson I learned well was self sufficiency- one I am sure causes its fair share of problems in my life and in my marriage. Because “I can do it myself – I don’t need help.” Somewhere along the way in this life I learned to depend sole upon myself and my skills – that other people will invetiably let you down. Which is true to an extent, but I apparently need a constant reminder that God isn’t human and his love is steadfast and enduring.
She then closes with this powerful statement “Therefore, knowing God removes the blindfold from a person’s life and fills them with purpose and joy.” Which reminds me that to know God is to spend time with him in his word – something that I am constantly teaching the children (mine and the church girls), but somehow gets lost in the busy-ness of my own life.
As I finished reading the daily selection, I was thinking how great it was the God led me down this path today, of all days, to read the exact words that would touch my soul and have me longing to read through this devotional and more importantly His word this month.
